Whatever happened to the Big Crunch?

According to this news story, 'scientists' now believe that the universe will continue expanding forever.

How things change. When I was a physics student (about 20 years ago), the dominant theory was that the universe was expanding, following the Big Bang, but was decelerating in its expansion. The theory went that at some (future) time the universe would reach its maximum size and then begin collapsing in on itself, eventually ending up in the opposite of the Big Bang - the Big Crunch.

At the time it was taught to us as 'fact'. Now it appears that it was wrong and we have a new 'fact'.

"'A thousand years ago we thought the world was a bowl,' he said. 'Five hundred years ago we knew it was a globe. Today we know it is flat and round and carried through space on the back of a turtle.' He turned and gave the High Priest another smile. 'Don't you wonder what shape it will turn out to be tomorrow?'"

Terry Pratchett, 'The Truth'

Terry Pratchett's 'The Colour of Magic' (TV adaptation)

I managed to catch up with some of those movies and TV programmes that I'd recorded-but-not-yet-watched when I was on holiday recently. So I've now completed Smallville series 7 (generally fine, but got silly towards the end), Lost series 4 (interesting but a bit annoying) and I finally got around to watching the TV adaptation of Terry Pratchett's 'The Colour of Magic' which was on Sky at Easter time.

Having seen last year's 'Hogfather' adaptation (it was OK, but not nearly as magical as the book) I was vaguely intrigued to see what they would do next, and was a bit disappointed to discover that they'd picked one of TP's weaker books to adapt. 'Why didn't they at least go for 'The Light Fantastic', its a better story?' I wondered to myself.

But now that I've watched it I know that the TV adaptation is a blend of the first two Discworld books, 'The Colour of Magic' and 'The Light Fantastic', which (a) means that the source material is better than simply doing TCoM alone, and (b) means that more has to be chopped out to fit to a 4 hour running time (including adverts).
So, it was OK. It was faithful to the story, with all the wackiness still intact, but once again the witty narrative that drives all of TP's books along (particularly the early ones) is missing. I'm not sure how this could be translated from the page to the screen, but I'm sure it could have been done somehow.

I'm not sure what I would have thought of the story if I hadn't read the books. The plot jumped about a bit and there were many parts of the story - which were emphasised and developed in the books - which just had to be briefly mentioned in passing. So the sub-plot with Cohen and his troll teeth 'din-chewers' happened, but it was stripped of all its humour. The bit where Twoflower explains the concept of insurance to the publican happened, but was stripped of any real meaning. The bit where Treymon reads all the 8 spells and his mind collapses happened, but was stripped of all the horror of the 'nameless things' that take him over, and so on. So yes, it ticked all the boxes it needed to tick, but without knowing the story first, I'm not sure it would play very well. Sadly the sub-plot with the magical shop and the cursed shop keeper was dropped.

Or maybe it was fine if you saw it without having read the books, maybe its only because I know the gems that have been cut out that I'm a little bit disappointed.

But. The biggest problem I have with this adaptation was the casting. As I'm sure is clear to everyone, David Jason is not Rincewind, clearly Nigel Planer should have been cast in that part. Anyone who thinks otherwise is simply wrong. Likewise, Sean Astin is not Twoflower. Tim Curry, on the other hand, was perfectly cast. And the Librarian was great.

So it was fine, looked good, ticked all the right boxes but was a bit muddled and soulless. But I will watch the next one when they do it. But why, oh why are they not doing 'Mort', 'Wyrd Sisters' or 'Guards! Guards!' next?

'Making Money' by Terry Pratchett

Once there was a time, a few years ago, when I eagerly awaited the publication of a Terry Pratchett book. Luckily for me I have a birthday in November and Pratchett books tend to be published in early November, in time for Christmas shopping. I think I've had a present of a hardback Pratchett book for every birthday so far this century. I got 'Making Money' in November last year, along with a few other books, so it didn't get read straight away.

It wasn't really worth the wait. It is a disappointing read. Nothing of any interest actually happens in the book. The characters appear to be quite interesting at first glance, but aren't really fleshed out as the book goes on. The character of 'Adora Belle', for example, is just there. She doesn't do much, she doesn't grow as a character and we learn nothing about her through the book. I didn't really remember much about her from 'Going Postal', but that might be because there isn't much to remember. Maybe she is just a paper thin, 2D character. The main character 'Moist' isn't much better. He's a man who needs a challenge too keep him on the (reasonably) straight and narrow, but beyond that he doesn't have much of a fleshed-out character after two books.

Most of Pratchett's early books were funny and entertaining. In some of them the plot was secondary to the laughs. Later Pratchett books have tended to be humourous rather than funny, but the plots have often been interesting, clever and gripping. This book was humourous in bits but never gripping and rarely interesting. Which is a big shame.

I've read all the Discworld books. I realise that is nothing remarkable to several of the readers of this blog and probably marks me out as a geek to the rest of you. Here, in very potted form are my opinions on the series so far:

1. The Colour of Magic
   The first Discworld novel. Quite funny, made me want to read more but I wasn't expecting TP to become as huge a success as he did. If you haven't read any TP this is a good place to start, but it gets better after this.
   
2. The Light Fantastic
   More coherent and less episodic than the first book. Also much, much better. A very funny book with a great story. Rincewind is a fantastic comedy character.
   
3. Equal Rites
   Good ideas in here, but not as well done as The Light Fantastic. Introduces the character of Granny Weatherwax, who'll get to be in much better books later on.
   
4. Mort
   The first brilliant TP book. This is where he gets into his stride. Fantastic ideas and some really funny stuff. You could read this as your first Discworld book.
   
5. Sourcery
   Rincewind is back, yippee. Entertaining.
   
6. Wyrd Sisters
   Another brilliant TP book. This is the first proper book about the Witches and is one of the best Discworld books. This book is perhaps more clever than any of the books so far.
   
7. Pyramids
   I really, really liked this one when it came out. Philosophy and fantasy rolled into one. Excellent. Stands up well to repeat readings too.
   
8. Guards! Guards!
   Brilliant again. This one is probably (in my opinion) the best Discworld book of the lot. This is also probably the last book which you could read as your first exposure to Discworld, all the subsequent ones kind of rely on those that have gone before, to a greater or lesser extent. This one is jam-packed full of fully constructed characters and has a great and interesting story for them to be in.
   
9. Eric
   Ricncewind returns in a fairly slight story. Not great, but quite adequate.
   
10. Moving pictures
    I didn't like this on first reading. It improved the second time, but is still not great.
    
11. Reaper man
    Again, I didn't like this on first reading, but when I revisitied it a few years later I enjoyed it quite a bit.
    
12. Witches abroad
    The Witches are back in another highly entertaining story. I think TP had a lot of fun writing this.
    
13. Small gods
    This one ranks second to 'Guards! Guards!' in my opinion. Brilliant. I love all the philosophical ideas in this one.
    
14. Lords and ladies
    This picks up straight after 'Witches Abroad' but isn't half as good a story.
    
15. Men at arms
    The sequel to 'Guards! Guards!' is very good, and also one of the best Discworld stories.
    
16. Soul music
    This is kind of like 'Moving Pictures', but a bit better. Still not one of the greats though.
    
17. Interesting times
    Another Rincewind story. Funny and, erm, interesting. I like this one a lot.
    
18. Maskerade
    The Witches return in a fine story, which is a bit on the long side.
    
19. Feet of clay
    Another in the 'City Watch' thread, a great, gripping read.
    
20. Hogfather
    I loved this book on first reading, but subsequent reads haven't been as good. Quite philosophical again. This has been made into a TV mini-series which included the plot and some of the humour, but most of the interesting stuff got chopped out, which is a big shame.
    
21. Jingo
    Serious. This one marks the switch from frivolous to serious. Its about war. Its not about Iraq, honest. Not enough gags. I didn't like it much and have never tried a second read.
    
22. Last continent
    Rincewind again. OK, but not a great one. Some of the idas in here don't seem to fit with the rest of the story.
    
23. Carpe jugulum
    Quite a dark one this. All about vampires. I don't really like vampire stories much.
    
24. The fifth elephant
    Having done vampires, this one is about werewolves. The word 'gritty' might start to apply here. Less jokes than of old, more politics. A bit grim in bits. And the whole thing of the 'clacks' system becoming like the internet is dull.
    
25. The truth
    The first really good book for a few years. Introduces new central characters while characters we know well appear in cameo roles. Pratchett does this in subsequent books a lot, but (in my opinion) this is the only book where it really works well. Interesting plot and some good comedy moments.
    
26. The last hero
    Short story with pictures. Featuring Rincewind again. Nice but forgettable story.
    
27. The thief of time
    I never really 'got' this one. There are some interesting ideas tied up in a strange plot and I'm not really sure what's going on.
    
28. Night watch
    Serious again. Good story but with not a lot of laughs.
    
29. Monstrous regiment
    Back to war again. Serious. I didn't like this one at all.
    
30. Going postal
    A new character is introduced and lots of old ones cameo. Not a great or interesting story and not very funny. Disappointing.
    
31. Thud!
    Serious and political again but with some good bits. Best of the recent books, but that's not saying much.
    
32. Making Money
    Reviewed above.
    

Terry Pratchett: Wintersmith

Just finished reading Terry Pratchett's latest 'for younger readers' Discworld book. It was OK.

In general, given the quality of some of TP's books for 'grown ups', I have found the kids' books disappointing. But this is probably the best of the bunch so far. For some reason, TP seems to think that if you're doing a kids' book it needs to have a much smaller story than adult books - so some of his grown up books have had plots involving wars, governments, countries, etc., but the kids books all happen on a local level. And contain more 'knob gags' and swearing references (though often implicit).

I'm stuck halfway between liking and being offended by the stereotypically Scottish (blue skinned, orange haired, kilt wearing, drinking, swearing, stupid) Feegles - half the time its funny but it veers dangerously close to racism at times. You couldn't have a comedy race of stereotypically Jewish or Indian or Chinese characters in a book like this, cos there would be outrage - even Welsh would probably not be received well - but Scottish is OK? Hmmm.

So what of the plot? Well, the nearly-thirteen year old main character Tiffany Aching inadvertently does something silly early on in the story, which changes the seasons, and spends the rest of the book trying to restore things back to the way they should be. Along the way she has to, basically, be more grown up than the grown ups in the story and deal with the unwanted romantic advances of the Wintersmith. And there's a storyline involving her male friend Roland which ultimately seems pointless. I think TP just wanted to keep him in the story somehow.

The main problem I have with this book is that TP chose to start it with a chapter which, chronologically, comes near the end of the book. This ends with a 'but all this hasn't happened yet' type line and we jump back 6 months or so. By choosing to do this, the author is more or less saying 'the start of my story is not very interesting' and has to give the reader a tantalising glimpse of something exciting coming up to keep them reading through the dull bits. Books that start like this are never great.

Its a shame. We used to get two 'grown up' Pratchett books a year, now we get less than one as his writing seems to have slowed down a bit and he's now doing these kids' books. Still, the next 'grown up' book can't be too far away, so here's hoping.

But, of course, the next book on my 'to read' list is another kids' book - out at midnight tonight...